I finally stopped waiting for me to show up and I just did. Fully and completely. Right here, right now. Absolutely no time to play small with anything, any longer. No time to wait to make the “right” decisions. No time to wait for the “perfect” opportunity to show up. No time to wait until I had enough money to become the entrepreneur I was meant to become. No time to wait until I became that better writer to the write the amazing book/blog post/newsletter/website I was meant to write. No time to wait to be that amazingly fit person. No time to wait to become the completely secure person unafraid of being judged with what I wear, how I combed my hair, and with what I had to say. No more time to wait my friends.
I say, “F it and let’s go!” It is high time to shake a leg and get this party started now.
I say this after spending an amazing weekend with one of my spiritual teachers, Gabrielle Bernstein, in the beautiful setting of the Berkshires at Kripalu. Truly a transformational time fueling me with magnetic life force ready to take on what the world has in store for me. Having a say in my destiny and in my journey there.
Let me back up here a moment and say that for some time up until now, I was thinking I needed to wait until I was fully ready and as perfected as I could be, to start living the way I truly want to live. But, my friend, time is not kind and the world needs me to show up now and to hear what I have to say even sooner.
So this is now a no-holds-barred zone.
You see, the person I had always imagined myself to be; the amazingly smart, pretty, giving, funny woman, is already here and was this entire time.
I have been doing the world a disservice by limiting myself by showing up and being “awesome” only when I felt I had perfected myself with monster workouts, with acceptable clothing, and acting in ways that I thought people would find me “likable”.
The kicker is, I was never anything less this entire 30 plus years. My insecurity and thoughts of separation were all in my head.
There is a quote by Alice Walker that absolutely resonated with me and pushes this silly theory through, “the most common way people give up their power is thinking they don’t have any.”
I spent many years believing that I had no power, that people couldn’t see me. Honestly, back in the day it would surprise me when people would recognize me at a coffee shop where I would spend much time. How silly to think that people would not recognize or see me after multiple visits? I see this time and time again with others. We are constantly shrinking from being seen by the world and we start to believe that we are less than. That we don’t belong. That people don’t see us.
We are constantly creating separation amongst ourselves and that allows us not to see one another when we walk into a shop, walk past one another on the street or get on a bus. We are in our heads. Not even aware that we are so disconnected. At the end of the day no one is really thinking about us. No one is thinking how amazing it would be if they could have the “gorgeous” purse over our shoulder or designer shoes or whatever you have that you think will make you special or better. We are creating this specialness in our heads.
I have been on a spiritual journey for the past few years looking for new ways of being. Trying to live authentically. Trying to be good to others. Trying to attach meaning to my life. And on this journey, I am learning to find my true voice and to see where I can help. While this is going on I am finding some inner peace with others and with the earth. Learning to let go.
Although this is partially a personal journey, it is also a journey we can share together. I want to support you and allow you to see how I am finding my way. Because what I am going through, you will eventually too (because we are the same) and there are lessons that I could learn from you as well. I will no longer do this inquisitive work by myself, on the sly, as I have. We are not separate. We are brothers and sisters and we are here to support one another. I see you and you see me.
We all have a chance to dissolve the separation. To melt away the lines that divide us by seeing one another. To quote Gabrielle Bernstein, “recognize the other person is you.”
Thumbs at my heart,
Listen to this empowering song and know that I care deeply for you. Please share your thoughts below if your heart calls for it.